Celery eater Martha Rose Shulman writes: “I’m a big fan of celery, both raw and cooked, as the main ingredient or as one of several featured ingredients in a dish,” and then proceeds to instruct her readers on how to cook and eat the thing, as if celery were capable of being eaten and digested, when everyone knows it just rolls around in the mouth, becoming more and more fibrous, until one is obliged to spit it out in a napkin. There are only so many vegetables to write about, and deadlines happen every week. We live in a world of limited edible plant matter and unlimited writing assignments. I understand. But there is no excuse for attempting to foist celery recipes upon an unsuspecting public. Telling your readers, “Oh, eat this…it’s food. It’s good. Put it in your mouth and chew it,” is unacceptable. If you have been given celery recipes, keep them to yourself. Suffer in silence; we all have a cross to bear. Even a dog will not eat celery.
